Dear Frank, I wish… Love, Gabi 2/2/23

“Don’t ever depend on a man because they can take everything away from you.” Examining my mom’s lesson, I’ve had to put that into practice and find my sense of belonging after ending a 12-year relationship. I’ve been photographing and inventing new models for self-portraiture with a critical eye toward the medium’s long history of absences and erasure. I’m inspired by Latinx women and my ancestors who could never leave because they were expected to be submissive in a dysfunctional marriage. I’m dealing with the aftermath of trying to please others while struggling to figure out: Who am I now that I’m a single woman? Life as a couple becomes a comfort zone. While living together, we don't realize how much of ourselves we set aside. When it ends, we don’t know what is more painful, losing the partner or the comfort zone. Struggling to find one’s self-worth as an independent woman, I had to build myself up and trust that I was worthy under any circumstance. Trying to find peace, I’m breaking the cycle of generational trauma caused by the traditional expectations placed upon women. I’ve understood that soledad (solitude) is finding fulfillment as an individual on my journey to self-love.